I have always needed constant reassurance in relationships. For once because I am usually in a battle with the bulge and want to know that it isn't big enough yet that someone has noticed and two because I never got reassurance growing up from my father. For awhile I felt guilty saying that since he is no longer here to defend himself but my guess is that even if he were he probably would not have denied it...and I have witnesses! A lot of them. My dad not only struggled with weight as most of his family also did but he struggled with words. I wonder if when he got to heaven god sat him down with a speech coach and taught him how to communicate. I am really hoping so because I am going to see a psychic in a week who apparently has a gift of communicating with the dead and it would really suck if all my dad did was grunt.
Big Al had a gift for turning his own parental fears into little bombs of unnecessary disapproval. As a teenager he would torture me when I walked into the kitchen...eyeing everything I ate....as if wheat chex or original cheerios were going to somehow make me balloon. We didn't have junk in our house. Cereal didn't have sugar...bread didn't have white and milk had no fat. This was probably why when my mother would occasionally have a can of frosting in the house it would without fail go missing...I still maintain my innocence and do not know how all ten cans found their way under my bed along with a spoon. My grandmother once told me a story about hiding chocolate in a tree. As a mom I can tell you that my son does not hide food except for the one time he himself had a frosting incident. Hereditary? hmmm
I believe I hid food because my father made food taboo. He loved to eat but for some reason when I ate steam would come out of his ears and I would inevitably hear a story about how gorgeous and thin his sister was at my age and that if I ate something that wasn't a fruit or vegetable that when I was an adult I would struggle like her. Guess what? I think it was not having access to those foods that caused his revelation to come true. When I left home I had only a few rules...cereals had to contain sugar, bread could only be white and milk...well milk stayed fat free because anything else tastes like you are drinking lard. I rebelled with food. Hindsight is 20/20 and I do wish that I had been smarter with my choices but he really drove me straight to what he feared most....food also felt good. I could make those decisions on my own. It pacified me...still does. Even today when I am eating healthy and on a diet my anxiety level undoubtedly rises because in the past I didn't feel like I could eat a pizza and feel better. Well little did I know that Jenny Craig allows me to. I can still eat the foods I love and best of all lose weight.
Mondays are the Trifecta....I start at Jenny weighing in...then I head to my Fairy Godmother for a dose of reality and then after that it's off to see the Swagmaster and see if he can once again make me weak in the knees....from muscle exhaustion that is. I actually feel pretty good about tomorrow. I would be crushed if I didn't show any loss. I have been diligent this week...for most meals I stuck to the plan..a Jenny meal or the volumetric approach.I have eaten at restaurants but foregone the bun...and cut down portion sizes...I worked out three times..twice with my trainer and when I wake up in the morning I can feel my ribcage again damn it!!! That is a huge thing for me since my ribcage disappeared about six months ago without a trace. I think I even felt my hip bone peeking it's head around the corner.
While I am aware of the "Daddy Issues" that I have I also realized once my father passed that he was just scared....and that it would a tragedy if I allowed those fears to hold me back anymore. I am a grown woman and ultimately it is up to me to know right from wrong and healthy from unhealthy. Where I am right now in my life both inside and out...is unhealthy and I am fighting back...against my biggest demon of all ..food.
I realized that I did not include my food for Thu and I took Saturday off from the blog so below you will find a three day food diary....some good ...some bad ...but all real! I highly recommend writing everything you eat down. It makes you accountable and aware. You may not think about the grazing that you do as eating but those calories add up quickly. I also downloaded a Fast Food Calorie Counter...I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS APP!! I tried the free one first but it does not include the full array or restaurants. This is worth the.99 cents. You will be SHOCKED. In fact take a look at family favorite Chili's. I am surprised people don't drop dead from heart attacks at their tables....most of these places really. It's a really good resource to have while trying to make the healthiest possible decisions on the go. :)
Thursday
Breakfast:
JC Breakfast Stuffed Sandwich
Mango Greek Yogurt
Water :)
Snack:
6 croutons :(
Lunch:
2 egg salad
Spinach Salad w/ Light Balsamic
Dinner:
Chicken Ramen with extra water
Added Peppers,Carrots, green onion, white onion
Use half the seasoning packet for lower sodium and added a Thai red curry seasoning with low sodium for flavor. ( Even comfort food can be adjusted)
Movie Snack:
Diet Coke
Sno-Caps
Friday Food
I went to see Harry Potter premiere the night before so I woke up at noon and went directly to lunch.
Lunch :
JC Fried Chicken and Potatoes
Fruit and Yogurt Parfait
Dinner:
1 cup Mac N Cheese
Saturday
Brunch
Iced Tea
1/4 lb Burger
Swiss Cheese
Bacon :(
NO BUN NO FRIES
Dinner
Chipotle Salad
extra lettuce
half scoop rice
half scoop carnitas
2tbsp sour cream
black beans
tomatoes
corn
Three Vodka Lemonades :(
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
Phat girls need love too
For the first time in my life I have stretchmarks on my thighs...I have had them all over my stomach since giving birth almost ten years ago. To this day I would swear that while my son only weighed 7lbs 2oz that my embrionic fluid and breasts totalled about 113lbs. That is what I gained during my pregnancy....120lbs. I went from being attractive to looking like a blob and at the time I didn't wear fat well. I have since learned how to put myself together a little more but still you can't disguise an extra seventy pounds of fat and you aren't kidding anyone taking pictures from the neck up but today I noticed them on my thighs. That pissed me off! Forget what creams tell you that shit doesn't go away. They are as permanent as herpes...unless you of course go to employ the services of a plastic surgeon but even then I am told those are not ever really gone. Plastic Surgery is not something I am opposed to one bit. I think that when you do this much damage to your body over time you have to anticipate a financial investment if you want to get things back to where they once were. I have heard from men on match.com that they speak to women that get angry when they say they aren't interested in a woman who isn' physically healthy and takes an active role in keeping her body in check but that is just unneccesary denial by the woman. Maybe nobody else will say it but Ladies...you don't want a fatty either. Maybe you accept them but when you are sleeping with him you are still fantasizing about a man who looks a little more like Ryan Reynolds when naked....or even better Gerard Butler in 300. Well guys want that too. It doesn't mean they don't appreciate your inner beauty but ask yourself...when you walk in the bar do you look at someone and say..." That guy looks like he has an awesome sense of humor" I sure don't. I think in my 33 years of life I have one time been at a bar and actually been attracted to a man who was heavy.
That being said who says we have to go without love? I don't but I think it's important to figure out first where the most crucial place is for that love to come from. My cliche answer is that until you are honest with you are...or until I am honest and take responsibility for disease I can't have what I want. I need to love myself and know that I am worth all of this hard work...it will take time but I am getting there one step at a time.
That being said who says we have to go without love? I don't but I think it's important to figure out first where the most crucial place is for that love to come from. My cliche answer is that until you are honest with you are...or until I am honest and take responsibility for disease I can't have what I want. I need to love myself and know that I am worth all of this hard work...it will take time but I am getting there one step at a time.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Fatvertising stole my pockets
I am marketers dream! I cannot see an advertisement for greasy fast food and not think...mmm..mama want! This morning as I drove my son to his monthly doctor's appointment I passed a highway exit sign that listed off the eating establishments I could find if I decided to take a detour. It was like something out of a movie when I saw the sign for Chik-fil-A. I was nowhere near but in my head I could smell that yummy chicken. Thought bubbles appeared above my head with cows marching back and forth chanting " Eat more chicken". The reality is that I have to convince myself to choose a Mango Greek Yogurt and a frozen breakfast pocket over a flaky buttery biscuit stuffed with a tender piece of battered meat...let's get real. The yogurt will NEVER taste as good. Never ever ever!! The right foods can taste great but who doesn't want to occasionally bite into a caloric heart attack. The difference with me is that I want to bite into one every day of my life.
Yesterday for example I decided that I would treat my son to McDonald's. I managed to pass through the drivethrough with nothing more than a Diet Coke for myself. " Pat myself on the back". Then I get home and my 13 year-old cousin decides she is also hungry and being the nice person that I am, I took her back....BAD PLAN! Turning your cheek to temptation once is difficult enough but twice prooved impossible for me. Now before you judge...hear me out because there is...at least in my eyes a silver lining. My little cousin is thin...she is still 13 so she still eat half a cow and nothing at all happens. I remember those days. I had a little waist and big boobs and a butt. I was like Kim Kardashians lost sister but then suddenly an evil spell was cast and I turned into Chloe....that's a girl that gets my pain and then some.
Needless to say I ordered her a huge burger and a twenty piece. Now I am not sure about you but I swear they pump crack into those little nuggets...or perhaps it's that food in general is like crack to me. I am addicted to it. I could have walked away yes but I also could have eaten all twenty nuggets...I had only four. Again...." pat myself on the back". Like I said yesterday..it's about making choices in every situation that work. I understand that this choice carries a consequence...that consequence is an extra twenty-five minutes on the treadmill but that is an opportunity cost I am willing to take on for now.
Today I will for the first time list out all that I ate yesterday. My diet consists mostly of pre-portioned foods that I pick weekly at my local Jenny Craig Center. The food really does taste good...it's not that chicken biscuit but I don't feel like I am eating things that are not fresh or taste like they belong in my dogs bowl more than in my mouth. I weigh in every Monday and will be sharing that with you on a weekly basis. For the past two weeks in a row I have seen gains which basically feels like someone strapped me to a radiator...didn't feed me and then injected me with fat before propping me up on a scale. It sucks not to see result and I have been there so many times before and given up. You feel defeated...well Fattycakes Unite...there are changes happening..I promise and even though you can't see them they will catch up. You can do this...I CAN DO THIS. Let's do it together. Let;s not look at the cereal isle and ignore the boxes above our heads...the ones that aren't loaded with sugar. Let's stop and take a peek at the egg whites and skip the bacon..and if you can't then choose turkey bacon. Save a Pig!
Food is everywhere. On TV, on billboards, in magazines, and don't forget having to pass by the smells just out on the streets. It's HARD and advertisers count largely on us Fattycakes to fill their pockets while I can't even fit my fingers in my pockets because my flipping pants are too tight. Heck...most things I wear don't even have pockets. My pockets have been stolen by food!! Now please don't think I blame advertisers. If I had a group of people who handed me money to make them social outcasts and shop at speciality fattycake stores I would probably take it too. I guess I probably just handed them my pockets on a silver platter....well darn it... Here's to getting my pockets back!!
Food Intake Wednesday July `3th, 2011
JC= Jenny Craig
Based on a daily Calorie intake of 1500 Calories
Breakfast:
JC Cranberry Almond Cereal
1/4 c Low Fat Cottage Cheese
1 Slice Watermelon
Snack:
1 Non-Fat Greek Yogurt w/Mango
Lunch:
JC Broccoli Cheese Potato
Water
Snack:
2 Hard Boiled Eggs w/Salsa
4 Chicken Nuggets ( crack)
Coffee w/low fat flavored creamer no sugar
Dinner:
JC Mesquite Chicken
Dessert:
JC Cookies n Cream Cheescake
Activity :
30 Minutes with Swagmaster working legs and arms.
20 minutes cardio
Yesterday for example I decided that I would treat my son to McDonald's. I managed to pass through the drivethrough with nothing more than a Diet Coke for myself. " Pat myself on the back". Then I get home and my 13 year-old cousin decides she is also hungry and being the nice person that I am, I took her back....BAD PLAN! Turning your cheek to temptation once is difficult enough but twice prooved impossible for me. Now before you judge...hear me out because there is...at least in my eyes a silver lining. My little cousin is thin...she is still 13 so she still eat half a cow and nothing at all happens. I remember those days. I had a little waist and big boobs and a butt. I was like Kim Kardashians lost sister but then suddenly an evil spell was cast and I turned into Chloe....that's a girl that gets my pain and then some.
Needless to say I ordered her a huge burger and a twenty piece. Now I am not sure about you but I swear they pump crack into those little nuggets...or perhaps it's that food in general is like crack to me. I am addicted to it. I could have walked away yes but I also could have eaten all twenty nuggets...I had only four. Again...." pat myself on the back". Like I said yesterday..it's about making choices in every situation that work. I understand that this choice carries a consequence...that consequence is an extra twenty-five minutes on the treadmill but that is an opportunity cost I am willing to take on for now.
Today I will for the first time list out all that I ate yesterday. My diet consists mostly of pre-portioned foods that I pick weekly at my local Jenny Craig Center. The food really does taste good...it's not that chicken biscuit but I don't feel like I am eating things that are not fresh or taste like they belong in my dogs bowl more than in my mouth. I weigh in every Monday and will be sharing that with you on a weekly basis. For the past two weeks in a row I have seen gains which basically feels like someone strapped me to a radiator...didn't feed me and then injected me with fat before propping me up on a scale. It sucks not to see result and I have been there so many times before and given up. You feel defeated...well Fattycakes Unite...there are changes happening..I promise and even though you can't see them they will catch up. You can do this...I CAN DO THIS. Let's do it together. Let;s not look at the cereal isle and ignore the boxes above our heads...the ones that aren't loaded with sugar. Let's stop and take a peek at the egg whites and skip the bacon..and if you can't then choose turkey bacon. Save a Pig!
Food is everywhere. On TV, on billboards, in magazines, and don't forget having to pass by the smells just out on the streets. It's HARD and advertisers count largely on us Fattycakes to fill their pockets while I can't even fit my fingers in my pockets because my flipping pants are too tight. Heck...most things I wear don't even have pockets. My pockets have been stolen by food!! Now please don't think I blame advertisers. If I had a group of people who handed me money to make them social outcasts and shop at speciality fattycake stores I would probably take it too. I guess I probably just handed them my pockets on a silver platter....well darn it... Here's to getting my pockets back!!
Food Intake Wednesday July `3th, 2011
JC= Jenny Craig
Based on a daily Calorie intake of 1500 Calories
Breakfast:
JC Cranberry Almond Cereal
1/4 c Low Fat Cottage Cheese
1 Slice Watermelon
Snack:
1 Non-Fat Greek Yogurt w/Mango
Lunch:
JC Broccoli Cheese Potato
Water
Snack:
2 Hard Boiled Eggs w/Salsa
4 Chicken Nuggets ( crack)
Coffee w/low fat flavored creamer no sugar
Dinner:
JC Mesquite Chicken
Dessert:
JC Cookies n Cream Cheescake
Activity :
30 Minutes with Swagmaster working legs and arms.
20 minutes cardio
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
I'll get by with a little help from my Friends
I believe that fat people fart more than skinny people. I can't prove this yet but damn it I will! This is what I thought about last night when contemplating working legs at the gym today. Just being honest...
I am if nothing else an honest person and my goal with this blog is full transparency. Some of you might think this is easy but for a Fattycakes this can be painful...it can mean admitting weakness and failures or what I now will only call setbacks..BUT I have always had a rather high pain threshold so here goes nothing...
Before I can really begin to detail my goals, my measurements, the food I eat, my activity log and workout regime ...OH and my Fattycake photo journal...there are a few superheroes I want to introduce you to. Their true identities though enormously awesome will be replaced with their "Phat Girl" names.
For starters there is my own personal chef...Jenny. As in Jenny Craig. Talk about someone who knows how difficult not eating has to be. The woman grew up in New Orleans for crying out loud. I would have looked like a Beignet...come to think of it ...I do. I am after all 5'3" and weigh 218 so while I have a shape...circle isn't exactly the shape I was going for. Back to Jenny...we have been friends for a couple of months now but I have kind of prioritized my other friends Wendy, Mac, and Pumpernickel ahead of her. I realize that these friendships are only bringing me down so I have decided to let Jenny take a bigger part in my life...plus I have to say she makes a mean triple chocolate cheesecake and I believe learning to make the right choices and setting appropriate portion sizes is a large part of a successful life change. As one of my friends at Jenny recently told me..." There is no such thing as Magic Food". So let's learn to eat the right non magical ones together.
Next there is my brand new personal trainer...whom I let choose his own alias. He chose "The Swagmaster". I can't comment on his naming skills which immediately drew criticism today at the gym from a bystander who believed the blood had just rushed to his head and he could not possibly have understood that correctly but I can tell you ladies that he is a very single and very tall glass of ....chocolate milk.While he is single I should warn you , however, that he is not only a fantastic trainer, whose abs one could bounce quarters off but he is also the grammar police. If you for instance were to write a run on sentence such as the one I previously did he would call you on it, or if you were to say things such as " I know you was tired" you would get the unfortunate grammar axe. Lucky for me I am looking for him to blast my fat and not teach me how to speak our nations language appropriately.
Last but not least there is the mental stabilizer in all of this, my " Fairy Godmother". Otherwise known as my licensed therapist whom I currently see weekly since the passing of my Dad on January4th, 2011. I started seeing my Fairy Godmother because after my fathers passing this princess's coach ( Lexus) turned into a Pumpkin ( Buick) and I realized that my entire life had been lived in a bubble. A bubble where unfortunately the tumultuous relationship that existed with my father drove me to eat. I could have picked up basket weaving or twister...or been on a Girls Gone Wild Tape to piss him off but no...I ate!!! My most recent theory besides me having control over what I ate is this...my father loved few things...one of them was food and perhaps subconsciously if I loved to eat as much crap as he did I would have something for us to talk about.
Well ladies and gentlemen that plan was an epic fucking fail....major backfire. I am fat and he is gone and I'm now searching for answers. My advice...talk to those you love no matter how uncomfortable it might be. Now my Fairy Godmother is pretty spectacular. I have given her this name because just like Cinderella ( which is what my mother calls me from time to time) it seems as though she was sent to me with purpose. She is honest and direct and pretty...and has UH-MAZING shoes. Basically she is a lot like me. :) She also< I found out later is also a skinny bitch who once was a Fattycakes. She herself lost an inspirational 100 lbs. If she reads this I hope she understands that I say this with the utmost respect...a term of endearment of sorts. Basically I learned with her that you can't bullshit the bullshitter. She gets it and won't allow me to make any excuses.
Oh I almost forgot to introduce you to the main character...ME. My name is Fattycakes and I look like a swallowed a small person. By my body shape I think somehow they are sideways and hanging out in my midsection. I weigh as another friend pointed out to me yesterday exactly 109 lbs more than another of our friends so I guess it's more believable when you put it in those terms. While I think losing my weight will be freeing I do not believe weight defines you...and when it does you know you have been fat too long. I am so much more.
I'm a daughter to a wonderful little lady....seriously..she is LITTLE! She can barely see over the steering wheel on her car but her heart is larger than life.
I am also the daughter of a deceased 100% disabled vet. I grew up overseas and while we rarely saw eye to eye...I am proud of my dad for his unwavering service to his country. Dad was also a Fattycake!
My most important title is Mommy Fattycake....or just Mommy. I have an incredible, smart, funny, witty, gorgeous son. I can tell you that for a stress eater like me this sure does throw a wrench into things. I think I ate my first full cheesecake the day he was diagnosed almost four years ago. Life is never boring with him around... He is my world and the best gift I have ever been given.
So this is me...the real slim shady...ok fine the real fat shady but take it or leave because the only thing here that will change is my weight.
I am if nothing else an honest person and my goal with this blog is full transparency. Some of you might think this is easy but for a Fattycakes this can be painful...it can mean admitting weakness and failures or what I now will only call setbacks..BUT I have always had a rather high pain threshold so here goes nothing...
Before I can really begin to detail my goals, my measurements, the food I eat, my activity log and workout regime ...OH and my Fattycake photo journal...there are a few superheroes I want to introduce you to. Their true identities though enormously awesome will be replaced with their "Phat Girl" names.
For starters there is my own personal chef...Jenny. As in Jenny Craig. Talk about someone who knows how difficult not eating has to be. The woman grew up in New Orleans for crying out loud. I would have looked like a Beignet...come to think of it ...I do. I am after all 5'3" and weigh 218 so while I have a shape...circle isn't exactly the shape I was going for. Back to Jenny...we have been friends for a couple of months now but I have kind of prioritized my other friends Wendy, Mac, and Pumpernickel ahead of her. I realize that these friendships are only bringing me down so I have decided to let Jenny take a bigger part in my life...plus I have to say she makes a mean triple chocolate cheesecake and I believe learning to make the right choices and setting appropriate portion sizes is a large part of a successful life change. As one of my friends at Jenny recently told me..." There is no such thing as Magic Food". So let's learn to eat the right non magical ones together.
Next there is my brand new personal trainer...whom I let choose his own alias. He chose "The Swagmaster". I can't comment on his naming skills which immediately drew criticism today at the gym from a bystander who believed the blood had just rushed to his head and he could not possibly have understood that correctly but I can tell you ladies that he is a very single and very tall glass of ....chocolate milk.While he is single I should warn you , however, that he is not only a fantastic trainer, whose abs one could bounce quarters off but he is also the grammar police. If you for instance were to write a run on sentence such as the one I previously did he would call you on it, or if you were to say things such as " I know you was tired" you would get the unfortunate grammar axe. Lucky for me I am looking for him to blast my fat and not teach me how to speak our nations language appropriately.
Last but not least there is the mental stabilizer in all of this, my " Fairy Godmother". Otherwise known as my licensed therapist whom I currently see weekly since the passing of my Dad on January4th, 2011. I started seeing my Fairy Godmother because after my fathers passing this princess's coach ( Lexus) turned into a Pumpkin ( Buick) and I realized that my entire life had been lived in a bubble. A bubble where unfortunately the tumultuous relationship that existed with my father drove me to eat. I could have picked up basket weaving or twister...or been on a Girls Gone Wild Tape to piss him off but no...I ate!!! My most recent theory besides me having control over what I ate is this...my father loved few things...one of them was food and perhaps subconsciously if I loved to eat as much crap as he did I would have something for us to talk about.
Well ladies and gentlemen that plan was an epic fucking fail....major backfire. I am fat and he is gone and I'm now searching for answers. My advice...talk to those you love no matter how uncomfortable it might be. Now my Fairy Godmother is pretty spectacular. I have given her this name because just like Cinderella ( which is what my mother calls me from time to time) it seems as though she was sent to me with purpose. She is honest and direct and pretty...and has UH-MAZING shoes. Basically she is a lot like me. :) She also< I found out later is also a skinny bitch who once was a Fattycakes. She herself lost an inspirational 100 lbs. If she reads this I hope she understands that I say this with the utmost respect...a term of endearment of sorts. Basically I learned with her that you can't bullshit the bullshitter. She gets it and won't allow me to make any excuses.
Oh I almost forgot to introduce you to the main character...ME. My name is Fattycakes and I look like a swallowed a small person. By my body shape I think somehow they are sideways and hanging out in my midsection. I weigh as another friend pointed out to me yesterday exactly 109 lbs more than another of our friends so I guess it's more believable when you put it in those terms. While I think losing my weight will be freeing I do not believe weight defines you...and when it does you know you have been fat too long. I am so much more.
I'm a daughter to a wonderful little lady....seriously..she is LITTLE! She can barely see over the steering wheel on her car but her heart is larger than life.
I am also the daughter of a deceased 100% disabled vet. I grew up overseas and while we rarely saw eye to eye...I am proud of my dad for his unwavering service to his country. Dad was also a Fattycake!
My most important title is Mommy Fattycake....or just Mommy. I have an incredible, smart, funny, witty, gorgeous son. I can tell you that for a stress eater like me this sure does throw a wrench into things. I think I ate my first full cheesecake the day he was diagnosed almost four years ago. Life is never boring with him around... He is my world and the best gift I have ever been given.
So this is me...the real slim shady...ok fine the real fat shady but take it or leave because the only thing here that will change is my weight.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
The Phat Girl Diaries: Admitting it is the first step
The Phat Girl Diaries: Admitting it is the first step: "I am fat! Overweight! Obese! A Heffer! For all the brothers out there...Thick! A Fattycakes! There I said it. I am ..GULP...218 lbs. I could..."
Admitting it is the first step
I am fat! Overweight! Obese! A Heffer! For all the brothers out there...Thick! A Fattycakes! There I said it. I am ..GULP...218 lbs. I could sit here and tell you that I don't know how it got to this point but that would be a hideous lie. I know exactly how. I ate my way here...the same way every fat person does. Imagine Ms. pac-man in a maze of chips and dips, being chased by cupcakes but instead of running from the cupcakes she goes on a suicide mission and runs right towards the murderous fluffy cakes. Now imagine my face on Ms Pac Man and you have my life. I was not always fat...there were a few months every other year or so where I managed to not have a bigger ass than all my friends but I have always struggled with making the right choices with food and realizing the consequences that a beautiful french pastry can bring.
I come from a long line of Overweight People, hereinafter referred to as Fattycakes. The main influencer of them being my late father. Now there are three types of people reading this...those who look at a Fattycake on the street and think they want to to be that way. ( You aren't totally off base but we will get to that shortly). Then there are those of you who are family or friends and abstain from a vote in this debate...and then lastly there is the fellow fattycake who is high-fiving in the air ..." yea girlfriend, I was good all day...and then just before bed I stood in the fridge and poured Hershey's syrup in my mouth ...Holla! "
Well just so you know...I poured Hershey's in my mouth and then realized that I thought being fat was gross and that I " was choosing to be this way". I have no problem saying that now because the key to really changing from fat to Phat is to be honest about the fact that what I CHOOSE to eat or even not eat is mine and mine alone. It's about control...as an overeater or with any eating disorder and I have as much control to keep the cycle alive as I do to change it.
This blog is about my journey to change it. Welcome to my story.
I come from a long line of Overweight People, hereinafter referred to as Fattycakes. The main influencer of them being my late father. Now there are three types of people reading this...those who look at a Fattycake on the street and think they want to to be that way. ( You aren't totally off base but we will get to that shortly). Then there are those of you who are family or friends and abstain from a vote in this debate...and then lastly there is the fellow fattycake who is high-fiving in the air ..." yea girlfriend, I was good all day...and then just before bed I stood in the fridge and poured Hershey's syrup in my mouth ...Holla! "
Well just so you know...I poured Hershey's in my mouth and then realized that I thought being fat was gross and that I " was choosing to be this way". I have no problem saying that now because the key to really changing from fat to Phat is to be honest about the fact that what I CHOOSE to eat or even not eat is mine and mine alone. It's about control...as an overeater or with any eating disorder and I have as much control to keep the cycle alive as I do to change it.
This blog is about my journey to change it. Welcome to my story.
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