Phat girls need love too

For the first time in my life I have stretchmarks on my thighs...I have had them all over my stomach since giving birth almost ten years ago. To this day I would swear that while my son only weighed 7lbs 2oz that my embrionic fluid and breasts totalled about 113lbs. That is what I gained during my pregnancy....120lbs. I went from being attractive to looking like a blob and at the time I didn't wear fat well. I have since learned how to put myself together a little more but still you can't disguise an extra seventy pounds of fat and you aren't kidding anyone taking pictures from the neck up but today I noticed them on my thighs. That pissed me off! Forget what creams tell you that shit doesn't go away. They are as permanent as herpes...unless you of course go to employ the services of a plastic surgeon but even then I am told those are not ever really gone. Plastic Surgery is not something I am opposed to one bit. I think that when you do this much damage to your body over time you have to anticipate a financial investment if you want to get things back to where they once were. I have heard from men on match.com that they speak to women that get angry when they say they aren't interested in a woman who isn' physically healthy and takes an active role in keeping her body in check but that is just unneccesary denial by the woman. Maybe nobody else will say it but Ladies...you don't want a fatty either. Maybe you accept them but when you are sleeping with him you are still fantasizing about a man who looks a little more like Ryan Reynolds when naked....or even better Gerard Butler in 300. Well guys want that too. It doesn't mean they don't appreciate your inner beauty but ask yourself...when you walk in the bar do you look at someone and say..." That guy looks like he has an awesome sense of humor" I sure don't. I think in my 33 years of life I have one time been at a bar and actually been attracted to a man who was heavy.
That being said who says we have to go without love? I don't but I think it's important to figure out first where the most crucial place is for that love to come from. My cliche answer is that until you are honest with you are...or until I am honest and take responsibility for disease I can't have what I want. I need to love myself and know that I am worth all of this hard work...it will take time but I am getting there one step at a time.